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notalwaysright_feed at 08:30am on 29/08/2025
notalwaysright_feed at 08:30am on 29/08/2025
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Reload page in style: light
whatever trifle takes my fancy. Read.
notalwaysright_feed at 08:30am on 29/08/2025notalwaysright_feed at 08:00am on 29/08/2025notalwaysright_feed at 07:00am on 29/08/2025Read Old Money Attitudes
Me: "I am sorry, sir, but this bill seems to be too old for our safe to accept, and we can't take it if the safe will not accept it. I'm sure it's real, it's just old."
Customer: That sounds like a you problem."
Read Old Money Attitudes
notalwaysright_feed at 05:00am on 29/08/2025Read NAR Villain Origin Story: Meet Bad Penny
Customer: "You didn't give me my penny! You only gave me a fiver!"
Supervisor: *While opening the till drawer to give her another penny.* "Oh, sorry. I thought I had."
Customer: "Well, you didn't, though, did you?"
Supervisor: "Well, I really did think I had. Sorry."
Customer: "But you didn't."
notalwaysright_feed at 03:00am on 29/08/2025Read Call-ifornia Dreamin’ (A Nightmare)
I let him know we don’t have any pamphlets to send, but our website has all the important information regarding the product. If he has any specific questions, I can answer them for him.
Customer: "No. The website is useless. You’re useless." *Hangs up.*
He calls again, trying to get a different support agent, but I answer again.
Customer: *Hangs up.*
icanhascheezburger_feed at 07:00pm on 28/08/2025Some date nights are more extraordinary than others, and after many years of marriage, they can even become routine. However, the date night for this couple was far from mundane when they stumbled upon a heatstroking kitty in the parking lot of their favorite, go-to restaurant. Noticing her distress, they made a no-brainer decision; instead of slurping down cocktails and ordering their favorite appetizers on the menu, they canceled the evening and decided to save a cat in need.
Little did they know, their act of love would reunite this cat with their original owners after the feline made a daring escape. Purrhaps this is the first (and last) time this cat will ever venture into the great wilderness outside, because after the ordeal she had, she was happy to be returned home to her ever-flowing water bowl.
icanhascheezburger_feed at 06:00pm on 28/08/2025notalwaysright_feed at 01:00am on 29/08/2025Read Cash Back Attack, Part 26
The screen to acknowledge the cashback fee for amounts over a hundred pops up. Welp...
Me: *Already knowing how this is going to go.* "Well. I don't have any twenties or larger bills at the moment, so I'm going to have to give you tens and smaller."
Customer: *Watching me count out a massive stack of small bills.* "Oh, I don't want to take all your cash…"
notalwaysright_feed at 12:00am on 29/08/2025Read The Paw-Ster Campaign That Ended Well
Me: "Hi, can I have about thirty copies of this document, please?"
Employee: "No problem. Black and white or colour?"
Me: "Colour. They're, uh. Missing posters. Our cat vanished, and we're trying to find her. She's chipped, so if someone finds her and turns her in, we'll know, but we're trying to do everything we can."
icanhascheezburger_feed at 03:00pm on 28/08/2025Talk about a catchy backyard drama! What started as one mama cat secretly moving her three little toms (two orange floofs and one dignified grey boy) under the porch turned into a full-blown feline sitcom. Mama eventually wandered off (classic mysterious cat exit) but the boys slowly warmed up to their hoomans. Gone are the days of skittish sprints. They now soak up head scratches, snacks, and snuggles like seasoned pros. Just when the humans thought they were pawsitively close to luring the trio indoors, life tossed in a plot twist: yet another kitten.
This surprise guest star, a tiny black furball, appeared out of nowhere and sent the boys into full detective mode. After hours of failed rescue attempts, the newcomer casually strolled in for dinner, pawlitely devoured half the wet food, and curled up with his new brothers like he had always belonged. The gang has been insepurrable ever since.
Between late-night stakeouts, kitten chaos, and backyard raccoon drama, the human is understandably expawsted. But with TNR plans in the works and four fluffy mischief-makers bonding on the porch, it's clear these cats are enjoying the hospitality so much they've started recruiting new members for the squad.
GET YOUR WEEKLY HIT OF WHISKERED PURRFECTION - SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!
icanhascheezburger_feed at 02:00pm on 28/08/2025We want to preface this story with some reality. Cat shelters often find that they are given cats who are bonded. This means two cats who have become reliant on each other, more so morally and emotionally than anything else. But that bond is an unbreakable one and if split, it can cause serious issues for both cattos.
And that is something that the adopter who wrote this story learned very quickly after adopting the sister of a bonded pair of kittens and turning to Reddit to ask if she should have also adopted the brother. And Reddit, being the grown up and responsible place that it is, immediately told her to go and get the brother. So what we are left with is a medium to large fur family who will live out the rest of their days in peace and harmony, so long as the food keeps flowing. The moral of the story being if you see them as a pair take them as is, they are not grocery store bananas that you can split (not that you should do that either…).
GET YOUR WEEKLY HIT OF WHISKERED PURRFECTION - SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!
notalwaysright_feed at 11:00pm on 28/08/2025Read When They’re Not Pro Pronoun, Part 4
John: "D*** pronouns! Back in my day, we didn't have pronouns!"
Tim: "Well, John, some of us—"
John: "—Forget it! I don't want to hear it! In fact, I don't want to hear any pronouns! Not a single one, do you understand?"
Tim: *Smiling.* "Okay... What John want to order?"
John: "What?"
notalwaysright_feed at 10:00pm on 28/08/2025Read Manners Declined
Cashier: "It didn't go through again. You have to pay with another card."
Daughter: "But... it wasn't declined, was it? It didn't beep or anything. The machine didn't seem to register it."
Cashier: "I don't know what to tell you. You have to pay with another card."
Read Manners Declined
icanhascheezburger_feed at 01:00pm on 28/08/2025We're tired today. because we didn't sleep half the night. Again. It's nothing special, it's just that every several nights our cats decide it's showdown time. They make our kitchen a WWE ring, they turn our living room into a gladiators' stadium, and the hallway is suddenly a Formula 1 racing track - and the cats are cosplaying as the cars. Well, it's the zoomies. Every cat pawrent knows this, every cat pawrent deals with the consequences.
So, yeah, we're tired. But you know what? We know we're not alone. There are so many cat pawrents out there who also woke up from their alarm clock, knowing fully well they didn't sleep enough because their cats made sure of that, and leave the house for work while their cats are sleeping like babies. Yeah, we know that feeling.
But hey, since cats rule the internet with all their mighty memes, we thought we might all deal with our lack of sleep together - through some chaotic cat memes, as chaotic as our cats during the night. Oh, the meowing night. We hope for us, and for you (and for all of our cats, honestly), to get a full night's sleep, full of feline sweet dreams and cozy comfort.
GET YOUR WEEKLY HIT OF WHISKERED PURRFECTION - SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!
notalwaysright_feed at 09:00pm on 28/08/2025Read A Sad Sign Of The Times, Part 9
Customer: “Is this discounted?”
Me: “Did you see a discount sign on it?”
Customer: “No?”
Me: “Then it isn’t.”
notalwaysright_feed at 08:00pm on 28/08/2025
I’m scanning items as fast as I can, trying to keep up when the regional manager strolls in. He scans the place and walks right up to me, actually interrupting a customer:
Manager: "Why’s the coffee machine empty? And the chips aisle looks half-bare. You need to stay on top of these things."
icanhascheezburger_feed at 12:00pm on 28/08/2025
And so the final pawstep falls, noble citizens of Cheezburgia - your choices in Chapter Three have carried Duchess Dander and her companions to the threshold of destiny. Now the summer tale reaches its grand conclusion in this, the fourth and final chapter!
Raise your gaze once more to the royal notice boards: on Facebook, you have steered the boldest turns of fate, and on Instagram, your voices shaped the finer threads of this tapestry. Through your wisdom, the duchess has found her path, and the kingdom has endured each perilous trial.
But how shall her journey end? Triumph, peace, and well-earned rest - or a final test of courage before the light can truly return? Read on, dear friends, for the tale of Duchess Dander closes here… and Cheezburgia will forever remember the pawprints you left upon its history.
icanhascheezburger_feed at 11:00am on 28/08/2025If you've ever met an orange cat, you already know that they've all got two brain cells, and one of them is dedicated to chaos. The other one is collectively shared by all orange cats around the world at once. Maybe this is how they've found the balance between being the dumbest and smartest creatures. One moment, they are face planting into a wall, and the next they're coordinating elaborate heists to steal bread from your cabinets.
Despite all of the chaos, they are massive sweethearts. They're derpy, heart-of-gold energy truly make them the golden retrievers of the cat world and are utterly irresistible. My own cat Walter is not a full orange tabby, but he's covered in orange patches. Somehow, I think that they imbue him with the unhinged, yet lovable, personality of a fully tangerine-colored feline. Whether you have your own spicy Cheeto gatito at home or you just love watching their antics online, scroll down for memes that capture every that makes us love these warm-toned binguses.
notalwaysright_feed at 07:00pm on 28/08/2025Read Try To Maintain Fizzness As Usual
Me: "Pop your items on the belt, love."
Customer: *Hesitates, clutching the cola tightly.* "I don’t want to put this one down."
Me: "Oh? Why not?"
Customer: *Dead serious.* "Because the conveyor belt will shake it. That’ll make it less fizzy."
scalziwhatever_feed at 05:44pm on 28/08/2025
Yes, indeed, yer boi Scalzi got splurge-y recently and picked up two new pieces of tech, which both arrived today within minutes of each other, namely, an M4 Mac Air (in the extremely subtle Sky Blue colorway) and a new Pixel 10 Pro, this one in the moonstone colorway.
Why the new tech? In the case of the Mac Air, well, it turns out my 16-inch Mac Pro is not exactly a paragon of portability (which is not entirely a surprise to me, I bought essentially as a desktop which I could occasionally lug about when I needed to), and the other more portable laptop I had (a 2019 Dell XPS 13) has come to the end of its travel life in terms of its battery being able to hold a charge. My iPad Pro has a Magic Keyboard and for the last couple of years I’ve been using it as a travel laptop, and it’s been fine, as long as I don’t have actual work I want to do — the keyboard, it turns out, isn’t comfortable for long writing sessions, and the entire setup is unwieldy and top-heavy in any event. It’s not a stellar laptop, as it were.
I have a new novel due at the end of November and a lot of travel between now and then, so I needed something small and light that is actually comfortable to type on while I’m on the road. I was vaguely thinking about a Chromebook (I had a Pixelbook back in the day and in many ways it was my favorite laptop ever), but for novel writing/editing I need a version of Word that’s not dependent on an online connection, because a lot of the puddle-jumpers I fly on while on tour don’t have Internet. None of the current Windows laptops thrill me, and from a technology point of view they’re at an inflection point anyway as they move over to an ARM processing architecture. I kinda don’t want to be in the middle of that right now (and for those people holding a finger up for Linux, please put it down, remember I said I need Word, and no, Libre/OpenOffice doesn’t count for my purposes).
The Mac Air M4, it turns out, is pretty much spot-on in what I’m needing in a travel laptop: The right size, perfectly functional for what I need, excellent battery life and reasonably future-proofed in having Apple’s most recent chip. I don’t plan on using it for heavy processing work (I have my ridiculously over-specced Mac Pro for that), so its relatively modest specs are fine. Plus it doesn’t tip over when I put it in my lap. It’s good! And also, good enough! And that’s what I’m looking for. The only thing I don’t like about it at the moment are that its USB-C ports are only on one side. That’s not exactly a dealbreaker.
As for the Pixel 10 Pro, that is indeed an actual splurge. I update my phones annually when it’s not necessary, mostly because I want the latest tech updates, which this year include some improvements in camera processing and some user interface upgrades (some claiming to be “AI” because everything has to be “AI” now, doesn’t it) I’m interested in trying out. That said, I shattered my Pixel 9 Pro screen a while back and after its repair it’s had some wifi connectivity issues — I think I may have knocked something loose in there — so an upgrade will probably mean I’m done with that particular problem.
(This is where I acknowledge it’s nice to be at a place in my life where I’m able to get a new tech when it is convenient for me to do so. I don’t take it for granted.)
In the reasonably near future I’ll probably have more to say about the day-to-day use of these new bits of tech, particularly the new phone, so be looking for those at some point. Until then: New tech! Yay! As a nerd, today feels a little like Christmas, even if I had to be my own Santa for it.
— JS
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